


Theory of Nothing;'

by DanglesArthurKhanrad



Category: Original Work
Genre: Awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 17:43:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3819268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanglesArthurKhanrad/pseuds/DanglesArthurKhanrad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm sure you've been told of how the world was created.... All you know has been a lie0</p>
            </blockquote>





	Theory of Nothing;'

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DanglesArthurKhanrad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanglesArthurKhanrad/gifts).



The theory of nothing...

So my dear friends, I’m sure you’ve all heard of how the world was created, yes? The theory that the great Stephen Hawkings was the creator of all life and death? Well, I have come to prove to you, that your whole life has been a lie.

For once upon a time, as all great stories start, their was a bubble of dust that coated the edges of my mushy brain. It wedged its way up into the butt crack of eternity and settled down in its new found home. Twisted and chafed, eternity became eritated, and spat out a star, this became what we call the Muslim cabinet, where all bearded nuns were born. Soon, water and spit began to bubble in the anus of eternity, and dropped out a turd of annoyance, this became our universe.

As of that moment, the universe was empty, but soon the bearded nuns began to pray and sing to the pew, causing it to grow and expand, collecting fungi and sweat. And slowly, a Jew formed from the holy songs and told the bearded nuns the truth about Jesus. They were in awe, and divided into two groups; the nuns with bushier beards became what they would call ‘men’ and the nuns with longer head hair became what they would call ‘women.’ They then decided that it was unholy for men and women to be in the same area for too long, so they created the sun and the moon, and one (don’t know which. ‘shrug’) became nuns, and one became monks.

Eventually, after alll this, the sour thoughts of the moon and sun sprouted a seed, which became all the planets and happnins. The joyful thoughts of eternity however, thus came the creatures and elements. Mud, which was held sacred by the original bearded Muslims, was sometimes worshiped by men or women who came to erth. This spawned the Christian religion to be born, someday down the road their beliefs switched to be about Jesus... but not yet. The Jews were actually the FIRST religion to believe in Jesus teLord, before later ditching the idea for other ones. Soon humans became infected with color, and were no longer translucent. And no one knew how they suddenly got the name of humans, but that didn’t matter at the moment, for it was so.

After the translucent folk were no longer translucent, a few of the babies inhaled different ideas of the Jews, and grew fur. They became the versions of apes that spawned evolution... First they were human babies, and then they were apes, and later evolved back into humans... People actually believe that... Go figure... I hope I wasn’t once a translucent baby that evolved... Cause I’m a monkey... Anywho... After people decided that evolution was a grand thought, they decided that making everyone unequal slaves would be grand as well. Thus started the rein of Abe Lincoln, who wanted people to remain seen as _people_ and equal instead of slaves and unequal... But sadly, for some reason, that never worked. That’s why the government put his face on a _penny_ because his wishes and thoughts weren’t worth much to anyone...

A few days after Lincolns fall, the majority of human society was built, first the leaning towers of Pisa (which all but one were destroyed by jews.) and then the rest of it. Islamic middlemost instructor, Vladimir Putin, and one of his grade a students, Kim Elliot Jong Un. Began a project to rediscover the moon-nuns and built Apollo, and the tower of babel. But... they were punished by God & Satan and it never worked out. And then Kim Jong Elliot Un punished his people because he was mad, made them go hungry and naked, and gave them weed to keep it off of their minds... By now the world was created?

This is basically how the universe works... Wow... How on earth did it get so messed up???? Oh well, this is my theory of nothing. Hope you need it to sleep well... :D


End file.
